keeping your composure around women !!!
This week’s Q&A focuses on keeping your composure around women and starting conversation. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
I hear that it’s important for a guy to keep his “composure.” What exactly does this mean, and why is it important?
Ah, one of my favorite topics: COMPOSURE.
I have been thinking a lot about the concept of composure lately.
Composure is vital because we humans tend to read very small cues from others, then make large judgments about them as people.
For instance, if you’re the type to let little things bother you, then you’re probably not going to be thought of as a completely masculine guy.
Let’s say that you’re out with a girl for coffee, and you come out to find a parking ticket on your car. Some guys I know wouldn’t even think about it — they’d just get upset. They’d start whining, ranting, raving, and throwing a tantrum with no regard for what the woman is thinking of them.
On the other hand, I know guys who would casually pick up the ticket, make a funny comment, and not even miss a beat.
What’s the difference?
The guy who keeps his composure at all times is FAR more attractive than the one who doesn’t.
Another place where composure plays an important part is when women TEST men. If a woman starts trying to push your buttons, becomes demanding or starts being dramatic about something, you need to KEEP YOUR COOL.
In fact, some of the guys I know who are THE MOST successful with women actually don’t even respond AT ALL to drama or tests from women. They just continue what they were doing.
On the other hand, I know some guys who let this kind of thing take them off balance and upset them (I used to be one of those guys). If you let things like this upset you or even get to you a little bit, it’s going to be obvious that you can’t control your emotions, and it will make you less attractive all around.
Keep your composure. Keep your composure. Keep your composure.
I have no idea how to approach a woman I want to meet.
Here are a few ideas for you…
First of all, you must realize that your body language is more important than the words you use. Wherever you are, and whatever the situation, you MUST remember that your composure and body language are the keys.
I’ve watched a lot of guys approach a LOT of women in my day. And I can usually tell within the first few SECONDS if the guy knows what he’s doing with women and if he’s going to be successful.
Most guys use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones; they almost look as if they’re pleading with a woman to give them approval and as if they’re nervous and self-conscious about the whole event.
In other words, most guys come across as WUSSIES when they first approach women.
On the other hand, the guys I know who are the most successful with women are the opposite. They’re totally cool, calm and collected. They often approach a woman and begin a conversation like they would with an old friend. There is no apologetic body language, and there are no signs of insecurity.
They aren’t there to find out if the woman is going to give them some approval. On the contrary: They are trying to find out if the woman meets THEIR standards.
Read more: http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_200/210_dating_tips.html#ixzz24lkhKKTQ
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